As we worked on this week’s “TED* Works!” essay, Donna received word that a long-time, very dear friend’s house had perished in one of the Oregon wildfires. At nearly the same time, she also learned that her niece had been hospitalized for dangerous pregnancy complications that requires long-term hospitalization.
The shock and grief of the news caused us to stop working on the planned piece. The result is this shorter-than-normal weekly essay.
The reality for all of us is that there are times that we experience some form of victimization. Almost everyone today feels overwhelm from a distressing situation, be it home-schooling children while still working, losing your job, health crisis, storms, fires, and so much more. For those of us in the US, today is the nineteenth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks—a reminder of more tragic events.
Victimization is a reality of the human experience.
Seeking to live as a Creator does not mean you are suddenly and miraculously exempt from being victimized by difficult situations.
In our workshops, we encourage participants to reflect upon the difference between victimization and Victimhood. Victimhood, in our view, is a way of being that can become a source of identity, living from a feeling of being powerless in face of problems. As we often say, the 3 Vital Questions® and TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)® work stands as a Challenger to Victimhood, while acknowledging the reality of victimization.
The question is how, as a Creator, do you deal with this reality of victimization?
First, from your Creator Orientation toward life, do your best to remember that you are ultimately “at choice” as to how you respond to the Challengers that arise in your human experience. The choices may be narrow, but accepting that you have the power to choose is empowering.
Second, allow yourself to feel your feelings. There were a lot of tears and sadness last night in our home. At times it is essential to “stop the presses” of your daily life and allow yourself room to feel. The pause may be momentary, or it may take extended time to move through the event. Please do not minimize the role of allowing your feelings to flow and support your healing.
You have surely had your own experiences of victimization—and may be in the midst of one now. Have heaps of self-compassion for yourself, and others, who are also experiencing their moments of victimization. As a Creator, move through it all one micro-Baby Step at a time.
These are the steps we are taking this week. We will return next week with another essay.