Shifting from Victim to Creator
When David first learned about the Karpman Drama Triangle and its roles of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer many years ago, he knew he had lived much of his life from a Victim point of view. One day in quiet time he asked: “Okay God. I don’t want to live my life as a Victim anymore, but I need to know, what is the opposite of being a Victim?”
“Creator” was the immediate response! He had no idea at the time what it meant, nor how this personal epiphany of shifting from Victim to Creator would grow into the manifestation of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)® and evolve into the 3 Vital Questions®.
How do you begin to facilitate the shift from Victim to Creator within yourself?
The first step is to accept and acknowledge your innate Creator essence.
Your Creator essence, which is inborn in you as a human being, is that urge to create, to come out of hiding, and be your best self. It is similar to the intelligence within a tulip bulb. The impulse is so deep inside the tulip’s DNA that, if there’s fertile soil, water, and sunlight, the tulip bulb becomes a lovely flowering tulip. It cannot do otherwise. It “knows” its nature and lives to express its beautiful essence.
The journey from the Victim mindset to Creator consciousness is not always easy, nor does it travel along a straight line. We prefer to think of it as a continuum, with your center of gravity gradually moving away from Victim thinking toward a greater recognition of your empowering Creator essence to guide your thoughts and actions.
This Victim-to-Creator shift may be the most profound shift you make in your life, because it will alter your relationship with yourself, loved ones, co-workers, and all of life. When you accept the reality that you are a Creator at your core, you uphold and see these three foundational qualities and affirmations in yourself and others.
- I am whole, complete, and enough at my core.
The Creator in you “knows” deeply your true essence and wholeness for yourself and all other Creators. Rather than fixing yourself, your work is to allow your Creator essence to come forward.
- I am responsible for choosing my response to life.
If you believe you that, at your core, you are whole and complete, it stands to reason that you no longer view yourself at the mercy of life’s events. As a Creator, you can learn to pause and be aware of the space that exists between the incoming stimulus and your response. This awareness builds your capacity to be at choice, rather than simply reacting to the drama of the moment.
- I commit to focus on continuous learning and remembering my true Creator essence, even in the face of setbacks and struggles.
Now, as a Creator, you can focus on what you desire in life—what rocks your world and what you are truly grateful for. With this new orientation to life, set-backs and struggles do not Persecute you. Rather they become learning opportunities and you are no longer a Victim to life’s Challengers.
You have a capacity to transcend today’s cultural story, which reinforces victimization and, instead, embrace your true Creator essence. This shift is available to everyone, at any time, if you choose to affirm and know your true essence as a Creator.
The process of recognizing and allowing your Creator within to emerge is the “classic” shift that begins the journey from the Victim Orientation to living from a Creator consciousness.
In the next two weeks we will describe the remaining two shifts from DDT to TED*—Persecutor to Challenger and, finally, Rescuer to Coach.