The month of July hosts several Independence Day celebrations around the world. July 1st was Canada’s Independence Day and the “4th of July” is recognized in the US as the day the states became free and independent from the tyranny of a foreign king.
The current global disruption is showing the world that freedom exists, or does not exist, on many levels. To speak without hindrance, to think and live without imprisonment has not been universally experienced and could be the subject of many blogs. But what we write about this week, is your own inner freedom.
Freedom starts within yourself and your relationship with your own thoughts and internal conversations. You will never be truly free unless you are free from your own inner-tyranny and self-persecution.
In our education and training workshops, it surprises participants to learn that the three roles that make up the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer operate inside of themselves (we call this your inner-DDT), in addition to how they show up in relationships in the outside world.
Many people do not realize their inner Persecutor is running in the background of their consciousness, influencing their beliefs about themselves and the world. If your personal thoughts are self-critical, your peace of mind and emotional well-being will suffer, and you may never experience true personal freedom.
We have coached hundreds of leaders who, by all accounts, are outwardly successful. But when asked about what they say to themselves privately, they often are their worst tyrants.
Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. And, how you relate to yourself will have a big impact on how you relate to others.
Victor Frankl, a survivor of Auschwitz and the holocaust, wrote in his classic book, Man’s Search for Meaning: “The last of human freedoms is the ability to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstances—to choose one’s own way.”
Fully embracing that you are always at choice is where personal freedom lives.
The key to making empowered choices and personal freedom is to understand how your mind works. The more you understand that your inner Persecuting voice is really only one of many voices, it will loosen its grip. Just because a thought pops into your head does not mean you have to believe it, give it any power, or act on it.
We all have self-critical and demeaning thoughts from time to time. The secret is to view them as passing chatter and just one of many thoughts you can focus on. Just a few deep breaths or a short conscious walk can help you quiet the voice. Once you do this, you can calm yourself and ask yourself “How do I choose to respond?”
Personal freedom is choosing what thoughts to give your attention and power to. Just as you have the DDT roles operating within you, you also have the TED* (*Empowerment Dynamic)® roles of Creator, Challenger, and Coach available to consciously relate to yourself, others, and your life experience.
As you become more self-observant and aware, you can choose your response to life’s challenges. Taking responsibility for your choices will reinforce and grow your Creator essence and enable and empower you to act upon the freedom to create your own life.
The Creator in you helps to clear your mind and brings well-being and freedom to your life. You will feel a lot of more positive energy and joy when you see that freedom does lies within. You may still hear your inner-tyrant from time-to-time, you just don’t have to give that voice any power.
You can choose personal freedom by understanding your true essence as a Creator.