As young school children, we are taught to ask the teacher for support and receive feedback to help us learn. That feedback was often in the form of a grade that we interpreted as either good or bad. As adults, giving feedback to one another can evoke a strong defensive reaction. We know this defensive […]
The simple act of asking for support or help can become a huge issue for anyone stuck in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT). As recovering Rescuers, we (David & Donna) have both struggled with asking for help at times. When we are stuck in the Rescuer role, we believe our job is to help others […]
It may be one of the most common things we say to ourselves: “I will be happy when…” How do you complete that sentence? You may say you will be happy when you have a new home, better job, a different body shape, a new relationship, or a dream vacation. Unfortunately, this is backward thinking. […]
Most of the self-help books and advice blogs these days include this advice: “You must learn to set healthy boundaries.” If you are anything like us, the idea of setting boundaries sounds like a good idea—and many days, it is so much easier to say “yes” just to keep the peace than it is to […]
Working with people stuck in a Victim Mindset can be exhausting and infuriating. When they have a problem, they often prefer to complain or blame, rather than focus on a solution. They cope with life by thinking there is some force outside of them that prevents them from taking charge of their life. We are not writing […]